I’ve recognized for quite some time that a component of my success as well as a key contributor to my sanity has been my ability to operate contrary to culture. For conversation’s sake, please allow me to explain what I mean when I say contrary to culture.
“Contrary To Culture” is my ability to make the conscious choice to observe what others are doing, what they suggest I should do, and then seriously consider how I will proceed or if I will proceed at all. In the workplace, this mindset is fundamental because the expectation is that you will conform which may not be in your best interest.
What I’ve come to realize is that oftentimes, conformity will cost you. It has cost my clients their time, their energy, their authenticity, and even their opportunity to advance in certain instances. Just know that when you decide to downplay your difference, you’ve already positioned yourself to experience a loss. If conforming doesn’t undermine your success, in certain organizations, culture definitely will.
Speaking of culture, toxic workplaces are more prevalent than they have been in years past. If you’re exposed to negativity and unhealthy dynamics in your work environment, take advantage of my free exit strategy template “The Gift Of Goodbye” pinned to my LinkedIn profile. Please know that pain doesn’t have to be palatable and toxicity doesn’t have to be your testimony. You do have options, ones that serve you and positively contribute to your professional success.
Here are 5 principles I share in my latest book “Contrary To Culture” that will also contribute to your career success:
#1: Imperfect? Yes. Imposter? No. According to Marketing.com. there are 4 phases of your position:
- Phase 1: Introduction
- Phase 2: Personal Growth
- Phase 3: Job Maturity
- Phase 4: Job Decline
More often than not, when you’re accustomed to being the SME (Subject Matter Expert) and you secure a new role (phase 1), it’s common to question your competency. During the introduction phase, you’re not an imposter because you don’t know everything, you’re imperfect – just like everyone else in the organization and the world.
Regardless of which phase you find yourself in, being able to properly discern whether or not you have Imposter Syndrome is mandatory so you’ll know how to manage your career in the moment.
#2: Managing Up Is Mandatory. Believe it or not, you can manage up in 5 steps:
- Understand your leader’s goals.
- Understand their expectations.
- Identify communication styles (yours and theirs).
- Speak their language.
- Give and receive feedback.
This critical skill will benefit your career in several ways, including but not limited to: increased career growth and development, communication improvements, and increased productivity. If you haven’t mastered it, consider what it costs you not to.
#3: The Male Room. If you’ve worked in male-dominated environments or have been the only woman in the room, I recognize navigating the landscape can be complex. According to Pamela Thomas-Graham, a McKinsey study found that women in “unbalanced environments” are more likely to have their judgment questioned, they are more likely to be mistaken for someone more junior, and more likely to be subjected to unprofessional or demeaning remarks.
Although it’s tough being the “only lonely”, please know you have what it takes to survive and pull through.
One thing I recommend if you’re in a male-dominated environment is that you “Watch your mouth.”Women are often penalized for speaking authoritatively; yet failing to do so results in the perception of being insecure, incompetent, and unqualified. When I say watch your mouth, I’m not suggesting silence. I’m actually encouraging you to speak up. Don’t be afraid to be assertive; to speak boldly and to speak confidently when you consider what you’ll say as well as how you’ll say it.
#4: Lose The Labels. Let’s face it: female stereotypes are a problem that has been birthed out of poor, socially constructed expectations. Some of the labels used to describe women include: bossy, pushy, angry, aggressive, and emotional.
Whenever you’re labeled as something you’re not at work, just know you have 2 choices – silence or circling back to have a follow-up conversation with the perpetrator. Remember, the behavior that is rewarded is the behavior that is repeated. As Wayne Gerard Trotman says: “When you tolerate disrespectful people, you disrespect yourself.”
#5: Choose Yourself Always. As talented, qualified, and accomplished as I am, I had to become my #1 fan, advocating for myself consistently throughout my career. I had to choose myself over and over and over again. Not only did I have to raise my hand for the roles I wanted, I had to raise my voice (speak up) as well.
I couldn’t assume my leader would ask what my career goals were, whether or not I wanted a raise, or if I needed additional resources. I didn’t know if I would be encouraged to log off at a reasonable time or if my performance evaluation would be submitted accurately. Therefore, choosing myself always became an aspect of managing my career that I couldn’t afford to compromise. To be honest, you can’t either. Get accustomed to choosing yourself; it isn’t selfish – it’s actually a form of self-care.
For complimentary Contrary To Culture resources: click here.